Crystal Legends #2

Remnants (Page 1 of 2)

On a cliff side in Greece, Jacques and Quinn make their way up toward the top. Quinn struggles, but keeps up.

They reach the top, where the Doric ruins of Kardaki lie at the feet of a group of Greek soldiers. They stand on patrol while two of them are examining the ruins.

They wait for the two Army guys to move to a different section, and then make their own way to an unwatched section. Quinn shuffles around until one of the Army guys point a gun at him.

Morm: "Κοιτάξτε. Ένα μάτσο παιδιά που παίζουν στην άμμο!"

The two other Army examiners walk over.

Eugene: "Αυτό δεν είναι ώρα για παιχνίδι, τα παιδιά."

Jacques: "Uh, translation?"

Quinn: "Essentially, they're calling us kids."

Jacques: "Why would the an army want to leave an impression of rudeness? This is highly irregular."

Eugene: "βλακας! You speak English. For your information we are the Hellenic army. --Do not tell me you are after this find as well?"

Jacques: "Pfft. No! Well, maybe. Anyway, since when are a bunch of gun-toting soldiers interested in ancient artifacts?"

Eugene: "Our government sent us here, as the acquisition of this object is meant to increase sophistication and respect in this time of great need."

Quinn: "Translation, no one's been paying taxes."

Jacques, steps forward: "Ugh. This is just so like the government to break into other markets in place of dealing with their own issues in their pillar-infused offices!"

Eugene: "We just do as we're ordered, most of the time in Greek; occasionally in Tsaconian."

They look down and notice an area of rock under the sand cleared by his step forward. The rock has a symbol.

Quinn: "It's Alexander the Great!"

His weight depresses it, causing an opening in the ground near them.

Eugene: "Πάρτε τους!"

After a moment, the Army attempts to apprehend Jacques and Quinn, but the two make a move and run for the opening. Releasing the pressure causes the opening to begin to close.

Jacques knocks a few soldiers down before jumping in with the opening closing up behind them.

Jacques: "Now will you tell me what you're doing in Greece?"

Quinn: "The school has a work station at one of the Museums here, and the tablets I translated last semester were being transferred to it for an exhibit."

Jacques: "Strange how we waited so long to discuss that."

Quinn: "Anyway, I heard you were in town, so I just wanted to say hi."

Jacques: "Oh; then, hello. Hope this isn't awkward for you."

The two make a run down a hallway, dodging giant plate slicers. They reach the end, where a spear is sitting inside a rock, surrounded by water. 

Quinn: "This was hidden here by Alexander. There's a release sequence here, but the inscriptions have been deteriorated by the water."

They hear the Army coming. 

Quinn: "Them again? Talk about clingy."

Jacques: "We're going to have to just grab it, despite the doom-bringing consequences. There's no other option."

Quinn: "That is a horrible idea!"

Jacques: "It's not that bad. Way to overstate an option."

Quinn: "I'd like to think my observation was accurate."

Jacques tries pulling the spear out, causing the chamber to shake. He finally gets it out and they make a run down another corridor. All the traps are set off and they leap through the end-wall. They pop out into the side of the cliff and hang on to protruding rocks.

Quinn: "Well you did promise an action-packed visit."

Jacques: "Um. I'm pretty sure I specifically said the opposite of that was to happen."

They climb down and jump into a small boat, waiting for them. Quinn starts paddling while Jacques examines the spear.

Quinn: "Sorry, dude. No class excavation to get back to and no yelling-teachers full of over-the-top obsessions."

Jacques: "Actually, I quite enjoyed the articulate science of digging and placing things on tables. Receiving a ban from those trips was the worst way to enact removal, despite that being the very definition of it."

Quinn: "I thought you swore off big hunts?"

Jacques: "This was a small one, and it's not for me."

Quinn: "Well, I know where your mysterious benefactor got the information on this spear from--- my tablets."

Jacques: "Zoinks!?"

Quinn: "Exactly. We know they described a spear that was stored in Corfu sometime during or before the Dark Ages, but what you probably didn't know was that they described a powerful object at the end of Alexander's spear. One so powerful, you could defend yourself against a thousand armies."

Jacques: "Fascinating. That explains the military."

Quinn: "I assumed you were on the hunt for the next crystal after I realized the correlation-- albeit, a little late on my part."

Jacques: "Don't you remember? I swore off that. Anyway, it looks like that lead was a more like a weed-- the dead kind."

They examine the spear for the crystal, but find none.

Quinn: "Well, this was not in the brochure."

Back at home, Jacques is in a History class, falling asleep during a lecture.

Carter: "And so you can see, even though the quote-unquote great General Hannibal of the Carthaginians was more feared, in Rome, than in anyone, a little stroll through the Alps was enough to inflict 14 thousand losses in his quote-unquote army."

Logan: "Did he ever conquer Rome?"

Carter: "Ugggh. Why did I even wake up this morning? Oh, right, I have to participate in that whole aging thing."

Meanwhile, Jacques gets a buzz on his phone.

#Stevens: "Jacques! I'm so glad you're back. I'm on my office roof, installing new weather shingles and just refuse to keep going until I talk to you personally."

Jacques: "Actually, you should complete that before it rains later."

#Stevens: "Oh hush. Your postcard mentioned that murderous spear?"

Jacques: "It's bronze and kill-worthy, even without it's missing spear-head of which I imagine to be in someone's 2000 year old rib cage."

#Stevens: "Don't worry. We've got highly ambitious gift shop owners to take care of those reconstructions. They charge a lot, but we charge them back in artificial costs and penalties."

Jacques: "Wait. Is there even such thing as an 'artifact comprehension fee'?"

Carter: "--Jacques! Unless you have some insights into Hannibal's ring lollipop, then I suggest you pay attention!"

Jacques: "Actually, I think it was a poison ring."

Carter: "Right. A mmmagical ring of murder. Sure."

Later, Jacques meets up with CJ in the schoolyard, where the others are practicing meditation.

CJ: "You're late for non-credit, student-taught martial arts training."

Jacques: "Daylight savings, remember? Also, I was held behind in History class. Professor Carter decided to make me recite the events that led up to the demise of the Harappan civilization."

CJ: "Possibly the same thing that got the Hittites. --By the way how goes the internship with the Museum Director?"

Jacques: "Just completed my last assignment with him, which is great, because a lot of the other ones were coffee runs. But on an unrelated note, I was just dropping by to tell you I have a meeting this afternoon."

CJ: "It's not unrelated. We know all about your secret fights for rare antiquities now."

Max: "We almost lost the archeology program to the Japanese mafia!"

Jacques: "Oh please. Like that wasn't going to happen anyway. But if it'll make you guys feel any better, I'll disguise my lies better next time."

Later, Jacques meets with the Museum Director in the Archeology Office, handing over the spear.

Stevens: "Truly fascinating. The spear of Alexander the Great. This is your best find yet!"

Jacques: "That's what you said about the last one."

Stevens: "I'm in a constant state of critical evaluation. Which, in itself, could be better."

Jacques: "Anyway, thanks again for taking me on as an intern through our school's Co-op program. I needed to make up lost credits for that last thing I did-- which, as we discussed, is undisscussable."

Stevens: "It is I that am thankful for these relics you have been tracking down. The great Finnish Sampo was an amazing one at that. I'm not even sure how you were able to carry it!"

Jacques: "I brought a thing. Well, you don't want to hear the grimy details."

Stevens: "The point is, each find gets you an A! And that's the kind of acquisition one could boast about."

Jacques: "So, you weren't expecting anything more with this find...? Anything... shiny-er?"

Stevens: "I don't know what you mean. I will just assume it is all a part of your generation's odd and generally accepted off-putting vernacular."

Suddenly, the Archeological teacher walks in.

Brommen: "Ah, Jacques. Director Stevens has mailed me his readiness to end your internship on either good terms or bad terms. What will it be Director?"

Stevens: "Oh; good, definitely. His last assignment was completed in a way that prevented me from finishing my lunch earlier. How does Annapurna, the Hindu goddess of nourishment, do it?"

Brommen: "I'll leave that for a later discussion. In the meantime, I'm reluctant, but pleased with your good behavior as of late, enough to reinstate your allowance to take part in the on-site archeological trips, or any school-related travel therein."

Jacques: "Sweet. My journal is getting one hell of an entry tonight."

Brommen: "But be fore-warned, we will be watching you closely! I hope this is the last we've seen of you deprioritizing your peers in favour of your artifact hunts. We can only hope you never have to choose between the two in a life or death situation, ever."

Jacques: "What? I would never do that."

Brommen: "You better not, or you can forget any future letters of recommendations from me!"

Later, Jacques enters the library, to do some studying, sitting with Max. He then gets a call.

#Quinn: "You sound distracted-- but in the disturbing hermit-way you were conveying in the last few months."

Jacques: "I haven't even said anything yet. Damn. I just did. Anyway, I'm just mentally back-logging various pointless statements and suggestions."

#Quinn: "Forget about that! I need your advice. Remember, last semester, how we were hounded by something I'm thinking of coining as 'bad guys'? Well, we're getting some of that here, and I need to know how to respond, emotionally."

Jacques: "What? Can't you function, cerebrally, without me? I'm not your parent and/or legal guardian."

#Quinn: "Yeah, you're right. I guess you give off that sensibility naturally. It's like a gravity-pull of parental-ness."

Jacques: "Can we just pretend we never had this conversation?"

#Quinn: "Anyway. The Museum, here, uncovered more tablets, and these very pushy guys were demanding to see the new translations-- or else-- The 'else' can be interpreted in the obvious fashions."

Jacques: "More tablets? You must've found new information?"

#Quinn: "Partially. Since it was Greece that found them, it's them that gets to translate. According to what I hear, they describe more about the staff and its beheading, but the translations won't be released, publically, for another month."

Jacques: "By Odin's beard!"

#Quinn: "They will, however, display them, as a sneak-preview, at an upcoming exhibit."

Jacques: "You need to get out of there. It's the only conclusion I can draw from past experiences."

#Quinn: "I agree. But, also, I don't. If those push-mongers just go to the exhibit, they'll satisfy their death-threatable needs through the visual acquisition of what they were asking for in the first place."

Jacques: "Didn't you used to be more paranoid before?"

#Quinn: "Character arc, from last semester's trip to Mexico. Don't try to change me back. That would put that last thing to waste. --I'm not listening. Lalalalala."

Jacques: "But you called me--?"

#Quinn: "Lalalalalala!"

He hangs up.

Jacques: "I guess he dies, then?"

Max: "Hm. There's this semester's student archeological trip next week. Brommen wants to take another competitive stab at the site our school's Greek tablets were found."

Jacques: "Obviously this is in response to the Greek Museum's recent findings."

He takes off a nearby poster on the wall. The poster says, 'Take Back the Glory! Return the Thunder!'.

Later, in the lineup at the airport, two Yakuza members stand next to each other. One of them holding the spear.

Pars: "I can't believe what we're doing. This is crazy!"

Ons: "Are you going to be commenting the whole trip? Because that's going to create a very intolerable dynamic between us."

Pars: "Sorry, it's just that, we just stole this from that Museum, and I'm still riding the theiver's high."

Ons: "Oh, you're young. Fine; continue."

On the flight, Jacques sits next to some random person.

Jacques: "You think we'll get those Egyptian dried dates? Not the too dry ones I mean; since those dates would be considered bad dates."

Mark: "You're thinking of poison."

Jacques then takes out his phone and makes a call.

Jacques: "Logan! Is that you? Your background surroundings sound exactly of what I anticipated-- which I expected to be mostly rock chipping."

#Logan: "It's like you're in my life!"

Jacques: "Anyway, how are your negotiation skills as of late? And don't try talking me out of answering this question."

#Logan: "In that case, I don't know?"

Jacques: "I need you to approach a collector that goes by the name of Horsporar. He's acquired an ancient Ganesh statue from India that I want to add to the school antiquities exhibition."

Quinn: "Horsporar? That has authoritarian connotations."

Jacques: "Yeah, no one likes to talk about it. Anyway, he's located across town and is probably not going to give it up easily. If his doorbell is unplugged, you have to resort to knocking. I repeat, knocking."

#Logan: "I'd love to, dude, but I don't have a personal invested interest."

Jacques: "Would it help if I explained that adding a new item would boost the Archeology department over the Sport's department?"

#Logan: "That just explains your personal interest."

Mark: "So a statue, huh? Those things are pretty cool. Depending on what they're made of, of course. The ones made from soap never last."

Jacques: "Since this is an ancient artifact, it's brass."

#Logan: "4000 year old copper and zinc molded into a symbolic cultural effigy potentially boxed indefinite? I'm in!"

Jacques: "What? I mean-- Nice! In the meantime, I'll be doing a different thing, separate from yours."

Quinn meet Jacques at a boat dock, where they wait for the school's excavation teacher.

Quinn: "Well, well. Look who's decided to come to the rescue. Unfortunately, you didn't think your plan the whole way through. The school's excavation is nowhere near where my internship is."

Jacques: "You have experience in dissuasion. What did you do last time?"

Quinn: "I went through with the hunt for the crystal with you."

Jacques: "That's like telling a kid to stick his fingers in an electrical socket."

Quinn: "So the hunt is like an output for the power companies?"

Suddenly, excavation teacher arrives in the boat. He approaches them, stressed.

Jacques: "Professor Charles. You seem to be exhibiting high levels of anxiety?"

Charles: "Change of plans. You're going to be student to a substitute teacher for a day; Charlize Malona."

Jacques: "No way!? She's a legend. She helped discover wood henge in England-- the poor man's Stonehenge-- which is okay, because in comparison to today, all Neolitic cavemen were poor."

Charles: "Meanwhile, I have to attend a school obligation at Meteroa; A reception ceremony is taking place on the tip of one of their mountains-- the complete opposite of the ground!"

Quinn: "That's where they’re showing the Greek tablets."

Charles: "More like Greek yapp-lets! That's what everyone is going to be doing; yapping-- the worst kind of vocal conversation. Sorry. It's creepy being away from the excavation site. I don't feel right. I've been walking on a slant for three days!"

Jacques: "Well, have fun--"

He looks over at Quinn and sighs.

Jacques: "Oh, right. The thing-- Uh, Professor, if the two of us take this reception for you, will you be happy to go back to the site earlier than planned?"

Quinn: "What?? You can't just do things and stuff??"

Charles: "Hm. I was told that you were to be under intense scrutiny when you arrived, but these formal functions are just way too clean for my tastes. I accept this radicalized bargain as a result of my obsessions!"

Jacques: "Nice. That worked out better than I expected. You see, I plan to tend to non-school related things."

Charles: "Sorry, I didn't hear you. I was busy scratching out that event from my schedule book. The pen was so loud; it overtook your vocal pitch. And now I must go."

He runs off.

Hours later, Quinn and Jacques are climbing the stone-carved stairs of the rock pillars at Meteroa.

Quinn, breathing heavily: "Why.... have they not... installed elevators....."

Jacques: "Are you doing a comic relief bit? Because that's unacceptable."

Quinn: "Nevermind. Here's my serious question. Do you think this object in Greece has anything to do with the one we found in Mexico? Because, they're completely separate cultures."

Jacques: "I'm just here to make sure you don't die. On the plus side, thanks to that, I get to severely criticize you and everything you do."

Quinn: "I'm confused at how our friendship works."

They reach the church at the top and enter, finding people everywhere. The main area is set up like a museum and different artifacts are on display.

Gnarls, at the door: "Welcome to the most unnecessary construction locale in the world! Entrance fee, 15000 drachmas."

Quinn: "Does anyone even use that anymore? And that price is ridiculous!"

Jacques: "Hey buddy, we're on the guest list."

Gnarls: "You know, us historical grifters have feelings too. I was rich, for a while, from some rocks, but lost all my money in poorly chosen modern investments. Forget it. I don't expect you to understand!"

He runs off.

Quinn: "Yeah, what's up with the modern world?"

The two continue on inside.

Jacques: "Quite a fancy-schmancy set up for a couple of Greek tablets."

Tinco, walks over: "You should see the Apokries celebration they put on every time they find an ancient gold wreath."

Jacques: "Tinco! --Ha. You have a weird name."

Tinco: "It's derived from a tin manufacturing culture. Never mind. What are you two doing here? Did they find out about me running illegal Isthmian Games? Dammit! Why'd that guy have to die?"

Quinn: "No, you're still good. We're here to inspect the tablets you mentioned? You said they described more about this mysterious staff."

Tinco: "Also, some guy's unhealthy obsession with some mud-like drink called kykeon. Ugghh. I get so many chills. Anyway, I thought you guys found that thing? The supposed spear of Alexander the Great it turned out to be. Despite the preposterous claim, that's more than nail digging archeologists find in two separate lifetimes."

Jacques: "We're here for leisurely visiting purposes only. Also, not dying purposes."

Tinco: "Like that time you went to Mexico for fiesta trumpet-players and mariachi bands and ended up being kidnapped by the Japanese mafia?"

Jacques: "Hey everyone goes Mexico for the kidnappings. It's a cultural thing."

While Quinn tries to read the tablets, the Museum Director walks over.

Garges: "How are you enjoying the displays!? Ah, we've put a lot into this reception. Some would say it's over the top, though others would defer to being impressed."

Jacques: "You're holding this thing on a mountain."

Garges: "Do you mean for that statement to be accusatoristic, fascinatory; help me out here?"

Kole: "Uh, Director, it's time for the collectivacious addressment."

He gets up in front of everybody and spreads his arms.

-Garges: "Thank you all for attending this momentous ceremony! The museum has been working very hard the past two years in joint excavation projects throughout Greece, hoping, praying, begging for some kind of historic revelation."

Quinn: "He's weird with words."

Jacques: "What are you doing? Are you reading those tablets?"

Quinn: "I have a condition-- it's called excessive-literacy-syndrome."

-Garges: "Finally, we have found what was destined to be in our hands from before it was ever created. These tablets not only represent archeology, but Greece, in its infinite protection against international interference of our historical artifacts."

Tinco: "Wow. That just came out of nowhere."

Suddenly, a group of Yakuza break in through the glass windows and begin attacking people. Everyone screams and runs in panic.

Tinco: "Oh them. We'll just pretend he meant them."

Jacques fights some off, but gets knocked back into Tinco and Quinn by Tagasaki.

Jacques: "Called it. Also-- Tagasaki!?"

Tagasaki: "Yes, that's right. You thought you left me to die in Mexico, didn't you?"

Jacques: "Let's review. You were shot by Cartel in a chamber that was inhabited by Ancient Mexican Tzitzimitl demons, during a structural collapse that YOU caused."

Tagasaki: "Surprisingly, I prepared for this. --First of all, not all gun shots are fatal, those demons left after they killed our men, and I found cover under a broken stone slab."

Jacques: "So, divine thoroughness is what's being highlighted here."

Tagasaki: "More specifically, your death is. You see, we're taking those tablets, and finishing what that fool Reen couldn't."

Yakuza grab the tablets and exit through the windows. Two Yakuza attack. Jacques fights them off. Quinn fights one guy with the spear of Alexander the Great. Jacques pulls out the wind crystal.

Jacques: "You're forgetting one thing, you over suited law-ruiner. I still have Ehecatl's Wind Crystal."

Tagasaki: "Dammit! We were all hoping you dropped that thing in a precipice!" 

Jacques blasts the Yakuza away and escapes with Tinco and Quinn, who picks up the spear.

Later, a tzatziki truck drops the three off at a nearby beach.

Tinco: "Um, could someone please explain to me what's going on? But please do it in a non-condescending way, so that it contradicts how backstories are usually explained."

Quinn: "We think events of current have something to do with this. It's a crystal, and thanks to the ancient stone tablets, we have reason to believe its companion crystal was kept in Greece."

Tinco: "You failed my test, by the way. Also, how is that thing able to command the wind like that? It's like you broke the laws of climate change."

Jacques: "It's part of the divine properties of a similar crystal we found on our last 'adventure', if you will."

Tinco: "I won't."

Jacques: "It once belonged to the Aztec god, Ehecatl, at the beginning of the Aztec time."

Tinco: "Cheque please?"

Quinn: "We're not at a restaurant."

Tinco: "Dammit." 

Jacques: "Even though Reen's gone, it appears the Syndicate are finishing his tasks. It's possible this second crystal has as powerful properties as this one does."

Quinn: "Well, I guess we'll leave it to them then."

Jacques: "Yeah but we're here. We might as well follow through with our unrelenting curiosity, coupled with our competitive paradigm against those suit stitchers."

Quinn: "But the psychological trauma from last time?"

Jacques: "Ugh, fine-- I'm reluctantly going on with this, in an effort to move forward on my issues."

Quinn: "That's better."

Tinco: "So, all this has something to do with pre-Greek Dark Ages? The whole reason I'm studying here is to explore questions about Ancient Greek history, and here you are actually pursuing historical evidence."

Quinn: "Where's our cheque, now?"

Tinco: "Forget that! This is where I draw the line! You ran into me accidentally, so now I'm going with you!"

Jacques: "Random chance is neither a mark-able achievement nor a failing."

Tinco: "I prefer to leave that to Socrates. --So where to next? It's on my student travel card."

Quinn: "It still makes no sense why they give us those. Anyway, before we were so rudely interrupted at that over-the-top mountain shindig, I was moving in edge-wise on the new tablets. They described some kind of secret plan by a King Lycomedes, who, with Alexander's spear, was on the verge of obtaining a powerful object. He intended on keeping it for himself."

Tinco: "Hmm. Yes. I believe, in mythology, he was the king of Skyros in Bronze Age, Greece."

Jacques: "Then that's where we're going. Pack your bags!"

Quinn: "What bags?"

Jacques: "Never mind."

They depart Ioannina Airport and take a plane to Skyros. At Skyros, they approach the scattered remains of ruins at Palamari.

Quinn: "So, is here where we think the Alexander the Great spear, now King Lycoemedes spear, originated?"

Jacques: "A lot of crazy things happened here. Did you know, according to myth, Achillies himself would spend his summers here dressed as a woman."

Tinco: "Correction, he was sent here by his mother in cross-dressable disguise for purposes of safe-keeping, but he was found out through acts of promiscuity."

Quinn: "Wait! This is a great sitcom idea! --But why are we at Palamari?"

Jacques: "One of the locals at the airport said it was rumoured the king was buried here. Not to mention, this settlement falls right under the time of his rule."

Tinco: "--Supposed time. You guys are acting like mythology is real and that is going to askew any observations of empirical evidence."

Quinn: "You did see the wind crystal, didn't you? Your eyes are a tool of observation, aren't they?"

Eugene: "--Hold it right there with your vision talk!"

They turn to find a group of Hellenic Army soldiers holding guns up to them.

Jacques: "You guys again!? How are you knowing of the things we're in the knowing of??"

Eugene: "I'm fluent in archeological history. As a boy, no one would ever hang out with me, so I spent my afternoons reading pre-burned books tossed out of a nearby library-converted-Orthodox church."

Jacques: "That's relatable and pathetic. But there's no way the government is funding this search for respect when they just held a showing at Meteroa!"

Eugene: "There's more at stake here than politics. You see these men here? They are citizens; conscripted soldiers. They're the blood of Greece, protecting Greece, and I'm doing this to protect them."

Jacques: "Protect them from what?"

Quinn: "--I found something!"

Eugene: "Oops. Can't answer that question now. I was interrupted, and those are the rules."

They go over to Quinn who has uncovered an ancient lever.

Eugene: "Slowly."

The army holds weapons up as Quinn moves the lever. The ground opens up nearby, revealing a staircase that leads further into the ground. 

Eugene: "You first. I don't want to lose more men to unsuspecting traps."

Quinn: "Oh, and a bunch of kids are okay?"

Eugene: "It's a moral paradox, I admit."

He makes the three guys lead the army down into the underground corridor. They reach a fork.

Jacques: "We should split up. Whoever survives, lives to remember the lost."

Quinn: "Are you serious? You really are the worst."

Eugene and a few army guys follow Tinco down the right corridor.

Tinco: "I'd like to file a complaint with the Hellenic Parliament House?"

Eugene: "Forget it! That building's been abandoned for weeks."

Jacques and Quinn are followed by the rest of the army guys down the left corridor.

Quinn: "So, you're not using that crystal until we find what we're looking for, are you?"

Jacques: "You know me too well, and that scares me."

They reach the end chamber, which contains a giant map floor with statues surrounding it.

Jacques: "Amazing! More Alexander the Great. In fact, all these statues are of said great person!"

Quinn: "He was really into himself."

Jacques: "It looks like this area is a tribute to his giant multi-state-campaign. You know, the one where he tried to conquer the world?"

Quinn: "Ambitious considering they still thought it was flat. Thank you, Christopher Columbus!"

Jacques: "Actually, Pythagoras speculated on a round Earth and--- never mind. Just don't ever bring up Columbus again. --What does this say?"

Quinn: "It appears to be Ancient Greek, saying something along the lines of aligning the great bodies with his greatest accomplishments."

Jacques: "Why does everything have to be 'great' with this guy? Things are allowed to be mediocre."

Meanwhile, Eugene and Tinco reach the end of their corridor, finding three statues of their own.

Tinco: "This is amazing. It's a wall mural depicting the Wars of the Delian League; specifically the Battle of Eurymedon river."

Eugene: "It's saying the hero is a gateway to the truth about a sacred crystalyna."

Tinco: "So one of these statues must be the hero. Let me think... Of course! General Cimon led troops into that battle, not to mention he conquered this island. Admittedly, the guy was on his game."

Eugene: "You're a student?"

Tinco: "Look, I spent my afternoons reading post-tossed History books launched out of a nearby College-converted-shopping mall."

Back in the chamber of Alexander the Great, Jacques and Quinn are pushing statues into places on the floor map.

Jacques: "Uggh. Alright, that should do it. From Thessaly, to Egypt-- to Cappadocia, to Troy."

Quinn: "What was that place Alexander died in?"

Jacques: "Babylonia."

Quinn: "Finally. A break for the Persians!"

He moves the statue, causing the whole chamber to shake and the far wall to slide down, revealing another room with more wall inscriptions. They enter the room and begin reading.

Quinn: "Opa!"

Jacques: "You used that one up now. Good luck thinking of more."

Quinn: "These were put here by Alexander himself! He knew about things that happened 1000 years before him."

Jacques: "Either the locals were chatty, or he had one heck of an advisor."

Quinn: "This talks about King Lycomedes and a bout he had with the warrior Theseus. It says he and Theseus had a conflict over the crystalyna in this spot. When Theseus could provide no crystal, he was then killed."

Jacques: "What!? Then King Lycoedes never obtained the crystal for his spear head, which basically just made it a staff."

Quinn: "It's a back story of failure, I admit. But, according to legend, he was successful in pushing Theseus off a cliff."

Jacques: "Gravity. My greatest enemy."

In the other chamber, Tinco moves a statue, triggering the wall to move out behind them to reveal another chamber. On the walls are more descriptions.

Tinco: "This is all about Cimon! He and his struggled search for the crystalyna, as described by the Oracle."

Eugene: "That crazy lady that told the future sometimes?"

Tinco: "Exactly. And according to this hackneyed vertical flat surface, she told him that finding the great warrior Theseus' bones would lead to a crystal."

Eugene: "Great thunderbolts of Zeus!"

Tinco: "Yeah but not in an actual way. There are no such things as Oracles. That'd be like saying Leprechauns, the short hyperactive high-pitched people of the Ireland, were real."

Eugene: "Hey, anything can be real if you just give it a chance to exist!"

Suddenly explosion opens up nearby, leading to a tunnel. Another explosion opens for Jacques and Quinn.

Jacques: "That was unexpected-- but also, strangely on queue. Is this last bit of reading here on this statue all we need?"

Quinn: "I'm not sure what the purpose is behind this line of questioning?"

Jacques: "Now's our chance! Let's move!"

They grab Tinco and the three of them make it out to the surface, where they're confronted by more army guys. Jacques pulls out the crystal and sends part of them away. He turns to the other part but stops when he sees someone.

Charlize: "--That looks interesting."

Jacques: "Hey. You're not a Hellenic army person!"

She quickly grabs the crystal out of Jacques hand during his hesitation. The remaining army aims weapons.

Quinn: "Really? You were tricked by a girl?"

Jacques: "Dammit. You knew from last time that that was my weakness."

The rest of the army and Eugene make it out.

Charlize: "I'm Charlize, by the way. I'm an Archeologist working with the Hellenic army."

Jacques: "You were supposed to be substitute teaching my class!"

Charlize: "Oh that? The obsessed-with-the-ground teacher cancelled on me. He was a little too giddy about it."

Jacques: "So, it really is you. You helped discover the Mochre crown-infested Lord of Ucupe in Peru. His tomb was full of riches; the kind that would make Howard Huges spin in his grave!"

Charlize: "Those crowns don't all fit by the way. And yes, that is a far cry from the procedure governed by the Hellenic army, here."

Eugene: "But you admit there's a cry?"

Charlize: "Your men threw explosives into the site! It's that kind of carelessness that lost the country to the Germans and Italians in the 1940s."

Eugene: "Hey! You signed a contract prohibiting you from mentioning that during this expedition! Besides, we finally got what we came for. That thing."

He points to the crystal in her hands.

Eugene: "Even though, it being here contradicts the history of General Cimon coming here in search of it himself; because he would have taken it. But who needs logic!"

Jacques: "That crystal is from a different site, in Mexico. It's not the find you came for."

Charlize: "He's correct. But it is lucky we acquired it. Perhaps this is one of those days we should get a lottery ticket or old-person bingo card."

Eugene: "Enough! It pains me to admit this, but you meddling kids are right. We have to get the precise crystal for reasons that are known to me but perhaps not you. According to the Romani-- the Greek gypsy-- I spoke to, no similar object will do what the one we want does. In conclusion, we need to know what Cimon knew."

Jacques: "Ah. A Greek gypsy getting along with a Greek military officer makes total sense."

Tinco: "We found inscriptions that said Cimon was looking for Theseus' bones in search of the crystal himself."

Quinn: "So we're not the first people on this thing? My travel agent's going to hear about this!"

Tinco: "According to history, General Cimon did claim to have found Theseus' bones, and he brought them back to Athens as a trophy for conquering this place."

Jacques: "Alexander, of several decades later, must've realized that as well. According to one of his statues, he went and made changes to Theseus' memorial tomb-- the one Cimon left behind."

Quinn: "So we're not even the second people on this thing? My travel agent was right to suggest Florida."

Eugene: "I'm purely Greek and even I know that is never right. Anyway, we are off to Athens! Everyone has their passports right? You better."

Back home, Logan approaches the door of the collector and find a door knocker in the shape of an Egyptian scarab. He knocks it and the scarab flutters its wings.

Logan: "Umm. I'm looking for Horsporar, the great collector of the past living in present day?"

#Horsporar: "Who dares disturb me in my time of undisturbance???"

Logan: "Just some kid."

#Horsporar: "Ugh! What a lame and disappointing answer! For such a shock to my system, I will entertain your inquiries. You may proceed."

The door opens, and Logan steps in. But he suddenly notices another guy, shadowed in a hood, next to him.

Logan: "What the--? Who are you??"

Karx: "You think you're the only one who wants this statue, kid? It's a cultural effigy! Also, I've been trying to get this guy to open his doors for years."

Logan: "Well, he opened them for me. You're not allowed here. I'm pretty sure those are the basic parameters of common courtesy."

Karx: "The door was opened. You can't argue with a dissemination of a void in space. That's impossible!"

Logan: "Well, you got me there."

Back on the flight to Greece, Quinn gets a call on his satellite phone.

Quinn: "It's Logan. He's at some place?"

Tinco: "Are we even supposed to be using that on a plane? Not to mention, we're being held by the authorities."

Quinn: "It's a satellite phone; it's exempt from those constraints."

They look over at Eugene.

Eugene: "Just don't speed-talk for help like people do in hostage situations. And this is your one phone call! Do we Greeks do one phone calls? I think we do."

Quinn: "Logan says he's in, but a second guy is trying to get the Ganesh statue too."

Tinco: "Wait. The Horsporar-Ganesh acquisition?? Give me that!"

He steals the phone.

Jacques: "Your stealing is not necessary."

Tinco: "Like hell it isn't. You're lucky you ran into me. --Logan, if you actually got in, tell the Horsporar that the second guy will be a test for you, and vice versa for the second guy."

#Logan: "Um. What the heck is this place? I just want to go home."

The plane lands and the group makes their way to Theseion in Athens, aka, the Temple of Hephaestus, a large Greek temple ruin with some scattered stones around it.

Tinco: "Just because this temple has depictions of Theseus, doesn't mean he was buried here. I meant to point that out earlier, on the flight."

Charlize: "Yes it does. More than ever."

Tinco: "Urgency isn't a characteristic of the past. I'm a student historian for crying out loud."

Quinn: "The Alexander the Great statue we read mentioned a tribute to the Trojan War was added here. Oh, and history-wise, did you know hundreds of years later the Christians turned this area into a church? Do not follow up that statement with more facts as that is the extent of my historical knowledge."

Jacques, walking around: "Most of the frieze is dedicated to Theseus' exploits.... but I don't know what he had to do with the Trojan War? He was into so many other things, plus it was way passed his time."

He leans against a stone and it suddenly pushes in like a button. A bunch of sword blades pop out of the floor on the inside. A few floor stones flip over to reveal inscriptions; everyone goes to the door to read them.

Quinn: "Uh. The archeologists definitely missed something here."

Jacques: "Good thing the Christians never found this."

Eugene: "Alexander must've really had a secret to keep. These look like they depict different battles." 

Charlize: "Exactly. Some depict the conquests of Alexander the Great, and others, the Trojan War. The inscriptions say to follow the hero of the Trojan War to great power."

Jacques, goes for a tile: "It is so perfect having a real archeologist on this."

He begins stepping on tiles with depictions of the Trojan War. A mis-step causes a sword to lunge out at him from below. He dodges.

Charlize: "Please don't worship me. It's annoying."

Jacques then continues on until he reaches two tiles before the sword.

Jacques: "Alright, I made it. But both of these are Trojan War tiles, except, in one, a guy's wearing a hat, and in the other, a guy isn't."

Charlize: "The hero of the Trojan War was Achilles. As a warrior, he must've often wore a hat. I assume Homer meant to write a poem about it."

Jacques steps on it and finds a pedestal with a hole in it pop out.

Jacques: "Amazing. It's possible a flag of some sort goes here. Or perhaps the broom from someone on the cleaning staff?"

Tinco: "Well, I'm over stepping my belief boundaries here, but maybe Lycomedes' staff, aka, Alexander the Great's spear, would be of service, since it was him that led us here."

Jacques: "Yes! You catch on quick for a random encounter."

Quinn tosses it over and Jacques puts the spear in the hole. Suddenly a broken sword comes out of the ground behind it. He pulls it out and reads the handle.

Jacques: "Oh my stars and garters!"

Quinn: "What is it? Did someone scratch it? Pawn shops hate that."

Jacques: "It's the Sword of Theseus!"

Tinco: "Impossible! He was even more not-real than the last guy."

Jacques: "This thing pictures Theseus obtaining a crystal after fighting his greatest enemy; Minotaurus; who himself was close to gaining ever lasting life before being defeated by Theseus at Knossos."

Quinn: "I've heard of Minotaurus. He was always violent and cannibalistic and stuff. The perfect gentleman-- for Ancient Greece, I mean."

Jacques: "Theseus then sent the crystal to Euboea before his death in Skyros, and had this sword handle re-inscribed to reflect the story. Can't argue with a swords that explain their own existence."

Eugene: "We get a self-validating sword, but no crystal. This is the worst Ochi Day ever!"

He points his gun and forces Jacques outside the temple.

Eugene: "We need that crystal, and you're going to provide it to us."

Quinn: "Oh please. What ever happened to your pre-burned book education?"

Eugene: "There are only so many discarded library materials before the Orthodox church replaces those with their, even worse, religious discards."

Charlize: "Major Eugene, will you just lay off the creationists for once?"

Tinco: "Moving on; in myth, Theseus had two sons; one of which lived in Euboea. I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but according to Pausanias, a Greek geographer from the 2nd century, there was a statue of Theseus' son, Acamas, at Delphi."

Quinn: "You're one us now! Alright, there are a few registration forms we have to get started---"

Jacques: "Wait! That’s all nice and packaged, but what about Minotaurus? Theseus got the crystal from him, and his home was in an underground dwelling."

Eugene, touches his heart: "As a military guy, I do not judge the way civilians choose to live. But sometimes it gets to me. Right here."

Jacques: "I'm not finished--- Who's to say his habitat wasn't the source of Ehecatl's crystal too? In fact, ambrosia was thought to have come from near that area. If that's what these crystals are, there could be an entire deposit!"

Tinco: "Except the Aztec gods predate the time of Minotaurus by 1700 years! Ugh. So much garbage in my head-- Why was I ever comically trapped in an elevator for eight hours with a book on mythological history?"

Jacques: "Haha. Oh Tinco. You're so new. You remind me of me when I was pulling in so-called relics of Joan of Arc."

Tinco: "Wait. That's why you spent your parent's University savings to go to Paris that summer?"

Eugene: "Both of your theories are intriguing. But you seem like the one with the most experience here, while this guy seems to have just stumbled on your quote-unquote 'mis-adventures'."

Quinn: "Finally, an articulation of the things we do!"

Jacques: "Here's the plan. We'll go to Knossos; the location, of that guy, Minotaurus' dwelling, and you and Charlize go to Delphi. I don't mean to split us up, but we don't have a choice if we want to get to this thing as soon as possible."

Quinn: "Dude, you're just sending him off on his own?"

Jacques: "He'll be fine. Anyway, he's got beginner's luck on his side-- a generic superstition from modern culture."

Eugene: "You fools don't make the decisions! I do! ............Just do what the kid says. Good thing I'm desperate and have a newfound need to know if there are more of what you said. --That, and we're being chased." 

Jacques: "Wait. You're what?"

Eugene: "Oops! Too late to get into more detail. Looks like we have to get moving."

Later, a plane lands on the island of Crete. Jacques, Quinn, Eugene and the army search around the ruins of Knossos. 

Quinn: "That was harsh with Tinco, but my Intro to Psychology course says it's important to let things play out, so as not to stress out the psychologist. Separately, why are you suddenly into finding out the source of these two crystals?"

Jacques: "Actually, it's been plaguing me since Mexico, like it has been for you, since Meteroa-- but you know, we're guys, we don't talk about our inner most thoughts."

Quinn: "Amen to that!"

They high five.

Jacques: "Here are my thoughts in more detail--- The Greeks talk about Ambrosia which was said to have been culled from beyond the region of the Wandering Rocks. And, that region was said to have been near Sicily; which I think could be interpreted as Crete." 

Quinn: "Even I think that's a stretch. Anything can be interpreted as anything! Plus, who would eat one of these crystals? Indigestion is what you'd get."

Eugene: "Hey! I'm still the boss here. I initiate the conversations. Now, do talking-- and things--"

He steps on a protruding stone block sticking out of the ground. The stone is moved to reveal a triple-tonged symbol. 

Quinn: "Whoa. That is not supposed to be here. Charlize would make the same professional assessment, just so you know."

Eugene notices this and orders his men into action.

Eugene: "You two-- move this stone!"

They move it and reveal a larger three-pronged symbol on a circular embossing.

Jacques: "That represents the god Poseidon. What does the God of the Sea have to do with this place?"

Quinn: "Maybe Knossos was secretly a beach town?"

One of the army guys drops his gun onto the circle and causes it to depress. 

Eugene: "Ugh. Could you please--? Sorry, conscripted soldiers and all. That's Jerry; he's an accountant."

A nearby wall opens up to reveal steps that go into the ground. Over-head is a symbol of a maze. They each head down to find a long corridor, and forks to other corridors.

Jacques: "The Labyrinth! We found it! Renown and controversial archeologist Sir Arthur Evans must be spinning in his grave!"

Eugene: "Fascinating. Then Theseus really did retrieve the crystal from Minotaurus in this place, after all. Oh, why did I get up in front of everyone at the Epidaurus Theatre and renounce that play? Damn those amazing acoustics!" 

Jacques: "We just need to back-track and find the deposit Minotaurus was protecting; then Bob's-your-Uncle-- the greatest pseudo-archeological find in history!"

Quinn: "I don't think you fully grasp the meaning of that term."

Meanwhile, a military truck makes it to Delphi. Army guys force Tinco and Charlize out. They begin walking through the site.

Charlize: "Delphi was the holiest of all sites. It was perceived to be an omphalos-- a centre of the world."

Tinco: "Not to mention the singing competitions here were fantastic."

Charlize: "Very good. Tell me, does your friend Jacques work in the field? He has a keen eye and a sharp sense."

Tinco: "If by 'the field' you mean 'trespassing', then yes. I never realized what he was doing out here until now, and despite my qualms, I must admit I'm a little fascinated. It's the mythology thing that'll get us sent to the crazy oikos."

Charlize: "It's important to keep an open mind. Besides, he must be careful. As Archeologists, it's our duty to protect sites, rather than loot them. We have to make sure Delphi isn't disturbed by us, like our recent accommodations at the ruins at Palamari."

Tinco: "The odds of finding anything related to the Acamas statue here are slim to begin with. All the heroic statues were either stolen by Romans or destroyed by even later Romans. Damn those Romans with their awkward upper body armour!"

Charlize stops at a carved rock base.

Charlize: "There is more to history than chest-wear, my friend. Plato said-- the learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant."

She examines the stone and finds an inscription on the side.

Charlize: "You see? This says 'The son of Theseus; Hero at Troy'."

Tinco: "Crabapple loblolly!? You're better than Kathleen Kenyon at Jericho!"

Charlize: "How do you even know about her? Never mind. Let us continue our examinations of absurdity."

Back home, Logan and Karx make their way through the Horsporar's strange house. They approach a Medieval door with a big lock in the middle, and two door chains on the sides. The door itself is inscribed with images of battles.

Logan: "This door is made of wood. If we get some nitrogen dioxide we can mix it with water and make nitric acid to eat right through this thing."

Karx: "What? Don't you mean you want you examine the pictographs to find the release mechanism?"

Logan: "Oh. I'm not sure that would have occurred to me, or if I regret that it didn't."

Karx: "It looks like some kind of battle by some Knights. They're killing these other people. I didn't know murder happened in the past too??"

Logan: "Wow. You must be a sponge at the library --Anyway, these buttons must need to be pressed. Some of them have crosses and some have stick figures."

Karx: "The door could be a tribute to those lost in the war. Perhaps an interaction with the fallen dead?"

Logan: "Creepy. Did you know, in the Middle Ages, families used to lay their dead out in the home? Talk about décor issues."

Annoyed, Karx presses the buttons with the stick figures. A new wall closes the corridor behind them.

Karx: "I hate you."

Back under Knossos, Jacques, Quinn, Eugene and a group of soldiers wander aimlessly through the Labyrinth. Quinn drops string as they go.

Quinn: "Ugggh! I'm telling you we should have taken those lefts, two rights ago!"

Jacques: "And I'm telling you, by rule, two lefts don't make a right!-- Unless there's a curvature of the connecting straights-- by rule."

Eugene: "Enough of this directional conflict, a colloquial characteristic of mazes and road trips. I will decide what is next!"

Jacques: "This should be interesting."

Eugene: "That way."

He points down a corridor. One of his men takes the lead, but reaches an end and they watch as he is suddenly sunk into a sink hole.

Eugene: "Uh, that way?"

One of his men go down a different path and is pounded by a large rock, tied to a rope. The rock then retracts back into the ceiling, with bits of past skeletons peeling off its sides.

Jacques: "Why again has the Greek government given you so much power?"

Eugene: "I was told I had something called stout."

Quinn: "Enough yammering! These tunnels have King Minos etched in Linear B near each fork. And on others, there are inscriptions of the sea-god symbol instead."

Jacques: "That matches with what we saw at the entrance. King Minos, the king of this island, insulted Posiedon once; who, in turn, tricked Minos' wife into committing adultery."

Eugene: "Yes, an easy thing to fall for. Surrrre. --Anyway, Daedalus, the builder of the Labyrinth hated King Minos for making him build this place, so it stands to chance he sided with Posiedon in the construction of it."

Jacques: "Which means-- we go that way."

He points in a direction of the sea-god symbol on a path with water at its end.

Quinn: "What else you got?"

At Delphi, Tinco and Charlize examine the base, but find nothing. 

Tinco: "Why are the soldiers still holding guns at us?"

Charlize: "I've been antagonizing them for days. It's an archeologist thing we do to people sometimes.

Garz: "Hey! Our aggression is based on being forced to need you, and that current, external threat the Major mentioned earlier."

She suddenly activates a pressure sensitive section of the base. A large circular flat stone-topped rock ejects out of the ground nearby. They run over and find a triangle protruding out if it.

Charlize: "It's a large sundial!"

Tinco: "Look at them. Trying to be like modern day Big Ben. Nice try, past."

Suddenly the stone sundial starts slowly moving back down.

Charlize: "We only have a few minutes to figure this thing out."

Tinco: "Plenty of time if we were iconographers. I'd ask questions like, what are the drawings on it all about? Is this a god or something?"

Charlize: "I believe these are depictions of ancient initiation rites. This one is a public celebration. Of course-- the Dionysian Mysteries!! This entire time piece is dedicated to their god; the god of wine. It anticipates his coming rebirth."

Tinco: "Being born once is one thing... But twice? Talk about overindulgent."

One of the soldiers holding the Sword of Theseus accidentally reflects the sun light onto the dial, and causes it to momentarily halt. It then starts moving again.

Charlize: "Theseus' Sword!? The sun-dial must be made of a light responsive mineral interacting with a trap mechanism! A use of stone beyond any ancient culture known to exist."

Tinco grabs the sword and tries lighting the dial. Suddenly, a piece of sharp rock is shot out at him. He knocks it to the side with the sword.

Tinco: "You'd think the sword of one of the greatest mythological heroes of all time would bring a little better fortune."

Charlize: "You have to get the right date. The dial was meant for Dionysus' return. Perhaps altering the time to reflect that will make it stop."

Tinco: "I was the top of my class in Guessing 101, at least that's what the teacher hypothesized."

He tries again, and is shot at by a sharp rock from another area. He dodges as it takes out a soldier.

Charlize: "I recall reading somewhere that his return was to have been after the Winter Solstice. There!"

Tinco moves the light accordingly, causing the dial to stop. A compartment in the wall nearby suddenly opens.

Back at the Labyrinth, Jacques, Quinn, Eugene and the group of soldiers swim under filthy waters until reaching the surface in a segregated section. Each of them swims out, panting for breath.

Quinn, gasping: "I....... think..... I've made the world record for the person least desiring to go under water but does."

Jacques: "You and me both."

Eugene: "What is this place? It smells like morning breath, wrapped in haggis, dipped in stagnant water."

They look around. It's dark and there are skeletons on the ground and a large decaying body. One of the soldiers lights a nearby torch, revealing a wall of badly drawn figures and writing.

Jacques: "It's Minotarus' dwelling. We made it!"

Quinn: "Whoever drew this was not an official ancient Greek artist. They're crude and angry and they depict Minotaurus being given a large powerful object to protect inside this place, and--- Grease-guzzling toe-trippers! He must've made these himself!"

Jacques: "My theory is confirmed-- except-- Where's the supposed Ambrosia? The deposit?"

Eugene: "There's no evidence of that here. --You fool. You were wrong the whole time! Oh, why is a Military Major even listening to a high school student? I used to embrace age discrimination??"

Quinn, reading the wall: "According to this, Minotaurus was given a large person-sized crystal by a group of Dionysian worshippers, to guard and watch over, but as a glutton he became addicted to its power, consuming parts of it year after year."

Jacques: "Ten bucks it was a dessert item after eating the people from Athens."

The two of them approach the decaying body. Most of it looks in tact.

Jacques: "What the hell? Is this him? Is this Minotaurus?"

Eugene: "That's impossible! Even if he was real thousands of years ago, he should be dust by now! Time is nature's crematorium."

Quinn: "There is the mystery of the crystal's power. It may have aged him differently than others?"

Suddenly, another person emerges from the pool at the foot of the area; a large man in ruined well-dress clothing, holding a gun up at them.

Reen: "Is this the little kiddies history book club?"

Jacques: "Holy crap! Reen!?!? How do you know about labyrinths??"

Reen: "I've been following you since Skyros, after your clumsy antics in Kardaki! It turns out my inadvertent revelation of this crystal in Mexico resulted in advantageous repercussions after-all; namely, you. Fortunately, for me, that all ends here."

Eugene: "We'll see about that. My ability to order others should fix this! --Men; attack that large, angry guy!"

Suddenly, a bunch of soldiers attack and Reen takes them all down, even with their guns. The remaining three soldiers join Eugene in defeat.

Reen: "Oh please. The only successful thing the conscripted Greek army ever did was provoke one of the most powerful secret religious organizations in the country. I'm an arrogant leader and even I couldn't do that!"

Jacques: "Wait. What? Actually, let's prioritize the questions here; namely, I thought you died?? I literally saw you get mauled by evil demon spirits-- the most affirming kind of death??"

Reen: "If you were a true let-something-else-kill-him killer, you would've stayed 'til the end to see else-wise through. After you left, as I was being ripped into by Aztec Tztitzimitl demons, I crawled my way over to the broken mask and held its pieces together long enough to regain control and call them off me. After they evacuated the temple, I couldn't get them back."

Quinn: "The bad guy getting resurrected after certain death--- classic."

Suddenly, a loud groan is heard from the shadows behind them. They look around but see nothing. 

Quinn: "Dude, all these pictographs about Minotaurus' eating habits is making me hungry. I'm soooo good for something drenched in olive oil."

The groan occurs again and the corpse in the shadows suddenly starts moving.

Eugene: "He's..... he's alive? How can that be??"

Quinn: "Wait. That's not my stomach?? Holy crap! Talk about resurrections! Reen, I'm sorry, but you've been one-upped!"

Reen: "Pretty rude there, kid."

Back at Delphi, Tinco and Charlize examine the opened compartment, which houses a large, round stone object.

Charlize: "This is absolutely amazing. It's an ompalos stone! The second found at this site; but this one is wrapped in a net-- one the original stone couldn't muster."

Tinco: "Also, it's smoking, a kind of habit relatable to present day tabacco-addicts."

The smoke reaches Charlize, causing her to inhale it and become partially possessed.

Charlize, gasps: "Knight of Columbus! It's making my head swim!"

Nikos: "--I'm sorry. That's all the head-swimming you'll be getting with that."

Tinco, Charlize and the small group of Hellenic soldiers turn to see they are surrounded by a large group of religious men and women in robes.

Tinco: "What the--? Was there a dress code to this party? That's a quip by the way."

Nikos: "Quaint and ambiguous of you to observe. In fact, it's far from that. We're here to put an end to you all and your foolish meddling."

Garz: "It's the Cult of Dionysus!"

Tinco: "The ancient Greek group of worshippers who partook in actions to be unspoken of in today's time?"

Nikos: "Precisely that!"

Tinco: "Uh, without requiring anymore elaboration or confirmation; now's not a good time. Charlize is engaged in some kind of smoke-interaction; from what I can only assume is sourced from certain kinds of 'crops', if you know what I mean. The kind that are controversial everywhere except Holland?"

Nikos: "You fool. It's the scent of Pythia! A part of her inhabits that sacred vase!"

Tinco: "Yeah, sure, a maaaagical special vase."

Nikos: "Sarcastic remarks are a red button for us religious types! --Men, take them down!"

The Cult attacks the army, and Tinco, who fights back with Theseus' sword. Charlize begins walking up the mountain. A cult member tries grabbing her, but is sent back a few feet by powerful force. 

Back inside the Labyrinth, Minotaurus moves slowly. He and Jacques fight briefly, with Jacques holding both his grappler and spear, but Minotaurus sends Jacques into a far wall anyway. Reen takes him on, gets a few good hits in, but is also sent into the far wall. Mintotaurus launches an open hand at Eugene, who jumps out of the way and fires into Minotaurus, having no effect in killing him.

Eugene: "No mythological cannibal is a match for the Greek army! Fire liberally and plentifully!"

The others pick up their weapons and fire into Minotaurus. The drone-man approaches and jams his palm into one army guy's head after the other. 

Jacques: "Dammit. I split us up from Tinco for nothing!"

Quinn: "Maybe our friend is only partially dead from unsuspecting traps? That's something to look forward to?" 

Jacques pulls out Ehecatl's wind crystal to attack, but is intercepted by Reen. The two fight.

Reen: "Putting yourself first much? The question answers itself."

Jacques: "Speak for your own one-sies. You came all the way down here without any back up. Seems kind of risky to me."

Reen: "I’m aware of my circumstances. As a crime boss, I always make note of them."

Minotaurus finishes off the army and turns to Eugene.

Eugene: "How is this possible? How??"

Quinn: "It's the crystal material he consumed back in Ancient Greece. It's preserved his physical functions. He's dead; but not; but is-- well, you get the idea."

Eugene: "I was expressing emotion more than seeking actual mechanics."

Minotaurus launches his palm at Eugene but is suddenly sent back into a far wall by a gust of powerful wind. He gets up again, but Reen launches another, with the crystal in hand.

Reen: "I just needed to exact revenge. It's a crutch, I admit; but it pays the bills."

Jacques: "Reen! You cantankering flammygidget!"

Reen: "I'd love to stay and kill, get the greater revenge I need on you, but your observations on my lack of back up as a more important issue is unwittingly accurate. In conclusion, now that I have MY crystal, I have important business that just cannot wait." 

He creates a whirlpool in the water and jumps in, moving faster than possible underwater. 

Back at Delphi, Tinco fights two cult members with Theseus' sword, trying to keep up with Charlize into the broken Temple of Apollo. He is then taken down. They pull out elongated spear heads, to which Tinco deflects.

Tinco: "Do you guys always try to kill people, or is this a modern adaptation?"

Nikos: "Ugh! I don't want to leave a negative stereotype on cults, but, yes, it is a thing we do. It would be preferable if we weren't judged for it, thanks--"

Suddenly, Charlize seizes and her eyes glow white. She goes calm and begins speaking.

Charlize: "ἀανὴς μάχομαι οὐδέν!"

Tinco: "Alright. She's definitely cut off and not allowed to drive home."

Nikos: "You fool! She's speaking a fractured form of Ancient Greek!"

Everyone fights and she launches a wave of energy that sends a few cult members and army guys to the ground while knocking over a nearby ancient structure.

Charlize: "ἐγώ   οἱ  μέγα   Ἀπόλλων!"

Nikos: "She... claims to be the great Apollo..."

Tinco: "So, wait. There's a god speaking through her just like the myth of the Oracle of Delphi?"

Everyone stops and turns their attention to her. She launches another wave at some of the cult members, who dive out of the way allowing the wave to knock down another structure.

Tinco: "She's going to destroy this place--- I mean, even more so than it was already!"

Charlize: "Η μέγα δαίμων έχει κινέω."

Nikos: "She says, 'A very big daemon has been moved.'"

She fires another wave and takes down two more structures.

Charlize: "Ο καρδία είχε ἄγω ἀπό μάχομαι ἐν Τροία."

Nikos: "'The heart was taken from-- fight at Troy.'"

Tinco: "You need to pull your men out of here. This Apollo obviously doesn't like you!"

She revs up a large energy around her, as cult members step back in fear. 

Nikos: "Stand your ground!"

She then fires it in all directions, blowing over structure after structure and everyone to the ground.

Charlize: "οὐ  ἕλκω ἐν  Διόνυσος!"

Nikos, lifts himself up: "'And not pull in Dionysus.'"

She then drops to the floor of the open temple.

Tinco, runs over to Charlize and lifts her head: "There goes the resale value."

Nikos: "Truly amazing! When he said the 'heart was taken from a fight at Troy', he meant the Trojan War. That is where our cherished statue was taken from."

Tinco: "A woman just had horrifying experience? A little compassion might help?"

Charlize, wakes up: "Ughhh. I'm okay; just a little woozy. Continue."

Tinco, to Nikos: "Of course you're after this crystal too. How'd you know to come here?"

Nikos: "We've been following the military for weeks. It wasn't until those tablets were released that we became increasingly concerned-- The eye-brow narrowing kind of concerned."

Tinco, picks up Charlize: "And you're actually the people who partook in the Dionysian Mysteries?"

Nikos: "Precisely. And that statue was originally a part of those Mysteries, before we mistakenly delivered it into Greek hands; King Minos, to be specific."

Tinco: "Well, I'd hate to perpetuate the country you loathe so much, but it's time we hit the Greek motorway."

Nikos: "A deliberate insult!? We'll see about that! --Men! Get them in the way we get people sometimes!"

He turns to find the cult members all struggling to stand from the previous attacks.

Nikos: "Oh, right."

He turns back to find Tinco driving off in the military truck.

Under Knossos, Minotaurus gets up. Jacques grabs an emotionally strained Eugene.

Jacques: "Dammit. I can't believe I lost Ehecatl's wind crystal. It's like our entire trip last Semester was for nothing."

Quinn: "He's very sluggishly approaching at casual speeds!"

Jacques: "Let’s get out of here. The toying and alteration of powers beyond our realm is not for mortal man."

Quinn: "Uh, yeah, and also, eating people is bad."

Back home, Logan and Karx continue to make their way through the Horsporar's strange house. They find themselves dodging giant axes in a thin hallway.

Karx: "How much more of this must we endure?? We've gone through Incan rope mazes, that strange Roman mini-coliseum and Egyptian cursed sand! Not to mention that annoying Medieval door with the walls closing in on us just before the 'to be continued' music-queue went off."

Logan, recapping the excitement: "Of course! Those pictographs of people with crosses were the Knights Templar and we had to press the buttons that represented them!"

Karx: "If one more unacceptable thing happens, I'm out of here."

Suddenly, Max enters from down the hall.

Max: "Hey Logan."

Karx: "What is this??"

Logan: "I realized how tough these obstacles were getting, so I enlisted some help via portable telephone. I had to explain all the traps to get him this far."

Karx: "Dammit! I've endured being undercover as a legit buyer for 5 months, and this guy gets a free pass?? I had to kill a guy at my apartment building for me to get here??"

Max: "Hi."

Logan: "Wait a minute. Who are you?"

Karx: "I'm with the Yakuza, obviously! You couldn't even figure that out without me telling you just now! How are things so easy for you? And why doesn't it phase you!?! Ugghhh!"

He pulls out his hair and runs off. Logan shrugs and he and Max enter through the next door. There, they find the shadowed figure of Horsporar behind a desk full of research papers.

Horsporar: "If you're here as Jehovah's Witnesses, just leave the pamphlet on the table and go."

Logan: "Uh. We're here to buy the Ganesh statue? Money is no object. Unless of course you require money-- in which case, I'm out. And it's a huge object."

Max: "I gotcha, buddy."

Horsporar: "Oh please! This is no time for selling! I'm just too busy!"

Logan: "But I worked with the Yakuza guy just like we agreed?"

Horsporar: "That was during my humouring-of-people mood. Now I'm in a much seriouser one due to this new find in Baalbek. I refuse to sell during this mood. You took too long!"

Logan: "It's my first day."

Horsporar: "Out! And take your pamphlet with you!"

Max: "We don't have a pamphlet?"

Horsporar: "Well, great. You kids just keep ruining things today, don't you? Out!"

On a passenger boat in the Mediterranean, Tinco gets a call on his phone.

#Jacques: "You're alive!?"

Tinco: "Considering I just met the god Apollo and a murderous Greek cult, I'm just as surprised as you are-- if not, slightly more."

#Jacques: "You who'd what and the what now? Oh I knew I shouldn't have split us up. I was being selfish and ignorant and not controlling enough."

Tinco: "What? You're not my father! We're the same age. Anyway, I completely understand why now. The discoveries of myth and magic far out-weigh the risks; not to mention being able to confirm historical theory."

#Jacques: "You've had quite enough young man."

Tinco: "My whole project was about ancient Mycenae and theories to prove that Ancient Greek civilization grew by influence rather than independently. The existence of this crystal, wherever it came from, would prove their susceptibility to such influences on said greater scale."

Jacques: "Speaking of where; the where was definitely not that wild theory I concocted, but instead, a large crystalline rock, which was dwindled down in gluttonous fashion. If I wasn't such an idiot, I wouldn't have gone there and lost Ehecatl's wind crystal."

Tinco, fakely: "Awwwwwwww nooooo, you're still the bestttt-- Anyway back to seriousness; following the thread forward-- after Minotaurus; Theseus acquires it and gives it to his son, Acamas; and our discovery at Delphi confirms Acamas lost it at the Battle of Troy."

#Jacques: "Hmm. Very well, then. We'll head over there, all punctual and such. I'd like for you to not go and return to your studies. Safety first!"

Tinco: "Hell no! You've greedily capitalized on this business for far too long now. Ever since you ran into me, you've been nothing but condescending and superior. Well, my newfound drive compensates the need for you guys more than enough. As such, I'm already racing the Cult of Dionysus to the ancient site of Troy."

#Jacques: "No. You're doing it wrong."

Later, Tinco and Charlize enter the ancient ruins of Troy, in Canakkale, Turkey. They attempt to examine the ruins.

Charlize: "Finally, we've made it. And after that crazy drunk Captain brought us all the way to Istanbul." 

Tinco: "Soooo many carpets they wanted to sell us. Damn that drunkard."

Suddenly, Jacques and Quinn enter the site.

Jacques: "Well, well, well; if it isn't a couple of quote-unquote-independent treasure hunters."

Tinco: "Ugh. Of course you show up. You know, you don't have the sole claim on this business. This is a free and democratic country!"

Jacques: "Actually, it's closer to a dictatorship, but civil society does have a little power. You know what; I see the point you're trying to make, and you're sitting on my next move. To keep things rolling, my next move is that I'm not budging."

Tinco: "Then I guess we don't have much more to talk about. It's obvious you care more about this crystal than you do your friends."

Jacques: "Total opposite! I'm doing this for your protection. You need to realize when you're in over your head!"

Tinco launches a fist and Jacques deflects it. They begin fighting as the others watch.

Charlize: "Dammit you guys. You're wasting time. This is my last artifact, since I'm never going to be able to work in this hemisphere again after the destruction I incurred at Delphi."

Jacques: "What??"

His distraction gets him punched in the face.

Charlize: "Ever since I joined this government expedition, it's been one blunder after another."

Quinn: "I think that Major was just using the government's reputation-building-necessities as a cover for personal drives."

Charlize: "That's your pep-talk?"

Tinco: "Speaking of peppy-military people, I see you gave Major Eugene the slip."

Jacques: "Our powers are limited now, since losing the crystal, so we opted for ditching him at a Koukouvagia stand. I asked him to hold my food and ran, but now I'm kind of hungry and regret doing that."

Eugene, enters: "That was the big mistake, for you see, the extra bread gave me the energy I needed to catch up to you!"

Jacques, while fighting: "Yeah. Great. You mind explaining why? And I mean why in the greater story-sense. Does it have anything to do with Delphi?"

Eugene: "This crystal is rumoured to protect people. I originally required it to protect my men; the conscripted soldiers, citizens of Greece. But as you can see, they have all been defeated at Knossos and Delphi."

Quinn: "This is awkward. Also, sorry."

Eugene: "Not necessary. I intend on completing my mission in their honour, and using this find for their sons, and possibly some of their daughters."

Jacques: "Or you could stop making people join the army?"

Eugene: "Likely not!"

As he steps forward he accidentally depresses a ground-trigger button that causes a loud bang from beneath them. Nearby, a hole opens to reveal a face-up shield. Everyone pauses fighting.

Quinn, points: "He stepped on a faded symbol of Troy."

Jacques, walks over to the opening: "And this opened."

Tinco: "Wait. This is how you two operate? Here's a tip-- more less obviousness."

Jacques: "We only have one setting! Anyway, it looks like a shield. The symbol is familiar, like the symbol found on Acamas' shield on some of the ancient ceramic pithos."

Charlize: "Excellent observation. Once again you show great promise. Since I, on the other hand, have used up mine, may I suggest an unorthodox approach? These scratches suggest turning the shield, like a steering wheel."

Jacques: "A real archeologist would never suggest that!"

He reaches in and turns it. The ground shakes continuously, causing a nearby area in the ground to begin opening up. 

Tagasaki: "Looks like we arrived just in time to miss the boring research part."

Jars: "Those are the worst."

A group of Yakuza appear and attack, just as two female statues begin to slowly emerge from the ground in the new area. The floor-area is immediately flooded with a wild whirlpool of water that surrounds the two middle statues. The middle of them is an elevated floor-entrance, untouched by the whirlpool.

Jacques: "Yakuza?? How did you get from Meteora to Turkey??"

Tagasaki: "The tablets, you fool. It took us a while to get that infernal, weird-talking Museum director to decipher, but, the ones you didn't talkesd about Theseus' son and his losing the crystal at Troy."

Jacques: "I don't mean to be judgey, but you're putting way too much effort into this."

Reen, approaches: "He's right. Ancient pursuits are my thing."

Tagasaki: "Reen! You're alive!?"

Reen: "More than that. I'm on my way to a well-to-do!"

Tagasaki: "Reverse that notion, 'sensei'. You see, the syndicate heard rumours about your survival, but I didn't want to believe it. They told me it was the end for you if you showed up."

Reen: "Of course. You were ordered to find the crystal to find me!"

Jacques: "Speaking of which. Can I have the current one back?"

Reen: "Silence! I have do a life outside of you, you know. Now, allow me to deal with this man I once called, brother."

Jacques: "Yeesh. Drama, much?"

The Yakuza surround Reen and attack. He takes out the crystal and fights back. 

Jacques is blown away, landing where Tinco and Charlize are examining the new area. Statue heads with masks of people surrounding the whirlpool pop up. Charlize and Tinco hold Quinn down.

Tinco: "The statues in the middle are of the goddess Artemis and King Agamemnon!"

Jacques: "Yeah, obviously. Who brought this guy?"

Charlize: "There must be something we have to do to neutralize this whirlpool? What did those two have to do with the Trojan War?"

Tinco: "The king lead the Greek attack against the Trojans; where they eventually used some giant random hollowed out structure to sneak their army in."

Jacques: "Oh, right. But before that, way before they even reached Troy, the goddess Artemis stopped their boats in mid-sail."

Quinn: "Can I get up now? This is a non-action part."

Charlize: "Ah, I remember that myth. She was angry with the king, for he had been bragging his hunting abilities were as good as hers. As if!"

Jacques: "Yes, I'd agree with you on that. Nice one."

They high five.

Tinco, lets go of Quinn: "You two can get a room now, thanks. --So, this whirlpool represents the boat situation. According to fakstery-- that's what I call fake-history-- the king sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia to get through."

Eugene, is kicked over from a fight: "One of these encircling female statues must be a representation of said daughter."

Tinco tries depressing one of the statues. The statue of Artemis suddenly turns and fires an arrow from within its stone at Tinco. He is hit in the shoulder and taken down. The statue continues firing around the general vicinity, where everyone else dodges out of the way.

Tinco, pulling the arrow out, bleeding: "Ugh. Nope. That wasn't Iphigenia. Anyone want to take bets on these traps being built by Heron of Alexandria?"

Quinn: "I'll put five down. They are very good. I am quite impressed."

Jacques: "Dammit! Who could possibly know what some king's daughter looked like? The gardener? We're going to have to try them at random."

Quinn: "Not it!"

Eugene: "Everyone's it. We do this collectively, or no one goes into the entrance."

Jacques: "Team work with us non military types must be very hard for you."

Eugene: "So, you appreciate a character change in myself, do you? Well, stuff it!"

Everyone backs a statue.

Charlize: "I'll go first. They say go big or go home."

She depresses head, causing the statue to change continual firing direction to her. She hides behind the head, avoiding arrows.

Jacques: "I guess that's me. True discovery comes from within."

He depresses his and the arrows go his way.

Quinn: "Wait. Are we doing quotes? Umm-- Without words, who are we? A wise man once said--"

Eugene: "Too long!"

Quinn annoyedly depresses his, and the arrows fire at him.

Eugene: "I suppose that leaves me, the humble one."

Reen, takes position behind the last remaining statue head: "You mean both of us. Responsibility kills, doesn't it?"

Eugene depresses his and the arrows go at him. Reen depresses his and a walkway opens up for him.

He takes the walkway to the entrance in the middle. Jacques gets up in mid-arrow-fire and catches each arrow swiftly, dodging and making his way over to the entrance. He leaps in skidding down a ramp to the bottom.

There, he finds Reen staring a giant wall of pictographs, displaying different battles of Troy.

Jacques: "Fascinating. The base is signed by Aristotle-- he must've added information to this memorial. It's like the ballad of the Trojan war, for all to learn!"

Reen: "So, the Illiad and the Aeneid don't exist anymore?"

Jacques: "But why is this place devoted to the hunter god Artemis? Why is she relevant?"

Reen points a battle where someone has a spear with a shining object on top of it.

Reen: "No one cares! This Acamas shield is what matters. Just like the one you used to open this place."

Jacques: "What? But you came in after we discovered that."

Reen: "It's not like it went anywhere! I have eyes!"

Jacques: "Yeah, great. Anyway, this says the crystal was taken from Acamas by Achillies, the main greek hero-- besides all those other ones."

Reen: "How odd, even since Achillies was already invincible, after, as a baby, he was dipped in the river Styx like soft-served ice cream."

Jacques: "True, but his heel was always vulnerable. What if the crystal protected him from that?"

Reen: "You dare contradict me just before I'm about to kill you? I'll kill you for that!"

Jacques: "Just like you killed your own men? It's like the only thing you know how to do."

Reen: "Don't you dare speak of my situation so candidly! In our business, it's die or be dead. Those fools betrayed me and they deserved what they got! Tagasaki was like a brother and he ran off; He didn't even stay to die."

Jacques: "How thoughtless of him?"

Reen: "Yeah, tell me about it! Some people."

Jacques quickly attacks Reen and swiftly steals the crystal off him.

Reen: "You son of a bitch! I see what you did there. My personal issues are just a conduit of opportunity for you."

Jacques: "A little bit; yeah."

Reen launches a fist out of anger, and Jacques deflects it. They exchange a few fists and blocks until Jacques blasts Reen with Ehecatl's crystal, sending him into the wall, next to the Achillies battle.

Jacques: "Hm. Achillies died at Troy. If he acquired the crystal before he died, he may been buried with it."

Reen, tries to get up: "You think you can just---"

Jacques blasts Reen back into the wall again.

Jacques: "This means I have to find Achillies' tomb."

Reen: "Good luck with tha---"

Jacques blasts Reen again.

Jacques: "But there has been so much speculation over the years; the burial mounds below Yenisehir, the Sigeion Cape, Sivri Tepe, Troy itself--"

Reen: "--The Elysium underworld, the Osmanick distric---"

Jacques blasts Reen again.

Jacques, pulls out his book and draws: "I've got to get these pictographs to Quinn."

He steps back into a floor button and the opening to the chamber begins to close up. The inside of the closing door shows a depiction.

Jacques: "What the!? It's the goddess Artemis, saving a young woman from the wrath of another god... But the pictographs are broken off? Could it have something to do with that cult from Delphi?" 

He notices his chance to escape is diminishing.

Jacques: "Dammit, I have to leave. --Sorry, Reen. But this is pay back for the Temple of Quetzalcoatl, last time. You remember that, don't you?"

Reen: "That was meant to kill you-- a thing which you should have complied to. You have no idea what you're getting into, you little piece of---"

Jacques blasts him into the wall and leaps out before it closes on him. The group is still being attacked by the wave of arrows, as the entire area begins to close up again. Jacques uses the fading chaos to grab Quinn and make a run for it.

TO BE CONTINUED

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